Home, Sucka
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Poetry and other wanderings by
Cornelius the Dogcatcher, an Illicit Flower, Bair the Cabdriver, (the late) North Hollywood Honey, and other deviants
~Angels appear on the edge of death because death is the threshold between time and eternity~
Tired in Purvis |An Inmate Named Jeff |God Never Gives You More Than You
Can Bear |
You Are The
Manacled Poison Jaw | To
Mesh My Hands In Your Soggy Bush
Orgasms Make People Stupid |
Basement Boy |Hellbent
Our Thoughts Are Not So Human
Anymore | Poem Poem
Poem
Brain Cells
Rotting | Here are
Some Crucifixion Tips |
Xedout
You Self Righteous Yuppie Fuck,
Here's A Poem For You | Fucking Library
Wenches!!!
Typical
Night Of Taxi Driving On a Friday Night In Gulfport | The Blackened Earth|
The Baron of
Urga
The Continuing Pornographic
Adventures of Bair the Cabdriver | A Man With a Puckered
Face
The Unknown
Soldier |
Bury Me in Black | Sgt
McKenzie | Shit
Charade | I was a
Perverted Bumpkin |Fuck
She
Licks My Cock | Geiger’s Nightmare |
He Muttered Like a Fish| From the
Grave |When The Dog
Bites Back
Poem About The New
Existentialism by Colin Wilson |
Fondling My Gun |
Together |
Premonition |
In Grandmas Garden |
Thoughts on
Starship Troopers
|Requiem
For a Boy |
The German Candle |
All American
Boy | The Key |
Are YOU a Sociopath? |Ill
Apologize so I don't go to jail
( If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing and if we're very very lucky, they'll do it in that order)
Send comments to: Complaint Department
E-mail (sent at 12:52am on Sunday)
To whom it may concern,
I was informed today that there is a picture of me on your website.
The picture I am referring to is the girl in a green dress dancing with her friends..... and there is a photoshop arrow pointing at my chest saying "damn nigga!".
I did not give you permission to post this picture and I don't exactly know you obtained it.
What I do know is that if this picture is not removed from your website or records within the next day, I will take legal action....and that is a promise.
You have chosen to mess with the wrong person, because not only do I come from a family of lawyer but everyone who is in that picture is ready to press charges.
I have already talked with my lawyer today, and will sue you if this picture is not removed immediately. If I ever catch another picture of myself or anyone that I know on one of your websites legal action will be taken.
I don't know what kind of websites you are running, but apparently you are not concerned about other people, what you did is wrong and you are not going to get away with this. And, I will be checking to ensure that it is removed!
-Kate (Email me!)
Tired in Purvis
That's me, I'm tired in Purvis m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i
The boy's name Purvis \p(u)-rvis, pur-vis\ is of English and French origin, and
its meaning is "purveyor".
Originated as a term for someone who provided food, or provisions. Its also a
town in the south, population 2,164
Named after the Confederate General James JB Boswell-Purvis III.
In 1908 it was leveled by Tornadoes
In 1960's the government tested Nukes underground here. (Twice!)
Purvis is located at 31°8′33″N, 89°24′28″W
Man i cant get that out of my head
Are you serious?
How did I end up here?
What is the deal
How does the universe conspire to the point of this
to where
>Purvis<
Is the WISE choice?
I'm don my polyester every day and drive my 90 miles
Packing heat to guard a trailer park
Packing heat while wearing polyester in Purvis
Dr Suess would be proud
Has your life ever been made miserable by a psychopath/sociopath? Most people have suffered at the hands of a perverse personality at sometime in their lives, be it in the workplace or at home. It may take years before the lovable glib mask is penetrated and the destructive side exposed. An estimated 1 in 25 of the population are sociopaths - which means that we all know a few. Are you a Sociopath?
Jeff Smith, MDOC
By Cornelius the Dogcatcher
One time pimp and hustler
And current heroin addict
In the 80’s
You
had it all
Car, women, money
You had bitches
In Biloxi Mississippi
Before the legal casinos and before a Bitch named Katrina
“Street whores and escort girls
are two different breeds of whore,”
you
said to me as you shared your life over a coke i bought you
“Escorts you split the money fifty-fifty.
You don’t have to slap them around.
Street whores you take all there
money
And buy their food, pay their rent,
Set them up with nice cloths,
lifestyle
Because otherwise they’ll run out and spend
It all on Blow.
You have to brainwash them.
Straight-up pimpin’ is a rough life,
Especially for a white guy like me.
You told me that you married an escort.
“She went to the slammer with
me
For writing bad checks. I was in there
Eight years on account of
her.
She was a straight up two-timing
psychopathic lying coke
whore.
But she was a fantastic fuck.
One night she licked my
asshole,
Mouthed my balls,
and swallowed my cock
in one swoop.
The
next morning I gave her a diamond.”
Jeff Smith What have you done in this life
Your shit use to be
beautiful
You had all the coke and H you could ever want. Jeff Smith What have you done in this life After you got out You told us this story: Things were going great And he found out about the money and you went to jail again
After you got out the second time you lived a street life Then
one day you got tired of sleeping under overpasses When i met you that's where you
lived Jeff Smith What have you done in this life
God never gives you more than you can bear
They said as they sliced open his belly God never gives you more than you can bear
Said the rapist God never gives you more than you can bear
Said the soldiers God never gives you more than you bear They said as he awoke with his flesh God never gives you more than you can bear
God never gives you more than you can bear
God never gives you more than you can bear
God never gives you more than you can bear
God never gives you more than you can bear
Because god never bares more than he can give
you are the manacled poison jaw you brilliant self loather where is Buddist self in a car wreck in an orgasm you regal shit you noble poet to mesh my hands in your soggy bush corpses are not beautiful remember this the porn theaters JIM BARRIS
orgasms make people stupid so bring on the tingling calvary pornography is the low comedy basement boy our thoughts are not so human anymore and we're pissing on the rug become living slime mutants they’ll know i’m looking at their chests
they won't care Brain cells
rotting When you have collected these necessary articles
The exquisite Babbitry the timid pollution I will play your heart I will liposuction your mind I guess I’ll have to keep Because the library wenches It’s like a little satanic
coven What kind of deviant
activities What kind of bondage dungeon I hear the faint moanings all the time Oh, god how they stand there All those romance novels The nude photography books
The sexual
manuals
Those artsy fartsy French films Down in that basement There is nothing more sexual All those books.
T H E B A R O N O F U R G A
You associated with mafia
types,
Running down to New Orleans
To give Big Pauly his take
You were
a tough guy
And took no shit from anybody.
When you went to the
slammer
You knocked out a lot niggers
Even after they took a baseball
bat
To your skull
You bought a Lincoln
Painted it white
put a meter
in it
and started driving cab
You’d sit at the airport
And bullshit
with everyone
And tell stories
And do your Dice man impression
(who was
your hero)
and regal us with stories of sleaze
and low rent
decadence.
Like when you’d go see your prison
’buddy in Texas
and
fuck whores and do coke
and go see the best shows in town for free
because
his Uncle was in the Mafia.
“My buddy was just low level criminal
And such
a lame that his uncle
wouldn’t even let him run his own chop shop
so he
rented a house in Houston
turned the whole fuckin’ place
into a grow
room
had at least $1,000,000
worth of high quality weed
but would only
check it once a week
and never even thought the landlord
would check the
place out from time to time
even though the lawn was never cut
and the
place was falling apart
so one day the cops were waiting
for him
there
so he went to prison
and that’s how he met ol’ Jeff Smith here".
But you started binging on heroin again
And not
paying the cab lease
And you lost that Lincoln.
And the owner of the cab
company
accused you of being a crack head
even though you were
just a
heroin addict
so he wouldn’t let you drive his cabs.
You robbed crack heads
you pick pocketed
You told us how you would load up whole shopping carts at Wal-Mart and walk out
with them
Just push them right out the door without paying for shit
One time a manager tried to stop you and you told him you would cut his hands
off
I don't know about the manager's thoughts but i believed you would have
shaking coke machines for quarters
eating from dumpsters
and you walked back into that Wal-Mart
and stole a can of tuna fish
So you could go back home
to the Mississippi Department Of Corrections
i would pick you up on a work release program and together
we would hose dog shit all day
for the price of a pack of Marlboros and a coke i was educated
in the ways of the world
in the tales of gangsters, drugs and hidden bodies in the swamp
The night you were released you didn't have anyone to take you anywhere
So i volunteered to pick you up and drop you off at the casinos
you said if you could make it there
then you could grift your way anywhere
And that's how i saw you last
Standing in your odd thrift store clothes
smiling and planning your vacation from the DOCGod Never Gives You More Than You Can Bear
And held his inards to his
eyes
Before he sliced her throat
As they executed his wife and children
Before him
Burned And mutilated
Over 75% of
his body
You Are The Manacled Poison Jaw
in the shit parade
self idolator
masturbator of ego
but in a hotdog
a pop can
a medicine jar
the clasp of hands
a full nelson
a spasm
a twinge of pain
you low rent pervert
you basement dweller
and humanitarian
you lover of flesh
and spirit
To Mesh My Hands In Your Soggy Bush
to pull back bloody meat
ahhhl . .
.
the stumps of love
necrophiles are delusional hypocrites
when the next round
of necrophilia chick
hits the
Christian coffee houses
will sigh
with cum and grief
In this day and age, with the kind of
degenerate society we live in and the
depravity of the individual, every
person of worth needs a gun at all
times. To protect himself.
Orgasms Make People Stupid
but brain damage never bothers
most people
including myself
we'll ride into the desert
sunset
encrusted with our own goo
of our time
Basement Boy
tender monster
he either growls or whimpers
but it's
scarier when he masturbates
Our Thoughts Are Not So Human Anymore
reptile brain
that irritates the
cerebellum
until it just quits
smelling hairs
sensations
the slickness
of our sweat
from the fifties
Poem Poem Poem
because i’m a sensitive poet
looking for a bosom on
which
to rest my weary head
Brain Cells Rotting
Stems of which are nil
Bloated bags of
carbon
Darkened rattled stumps
For which to torture
Mules and
things
Of a pathetic nature
Churning of nipples
All that boring
bullshit
As we close out
these end of days
with a song about
Jesus
Christ in a blender
God flesh puree
Devour to make us
Holy and pure
Here are Some Crucifixion Tips
Commence with your glory
You Self Rightious Yuppy Fuck,
Here's A Poem For You
of your
unkind desire
of your zeal
with drivel
and bastard serenades
faggot you into eternity
frown upon your
memory
Fucking Library Wenches!!!
Masturbating
To the nude
books
In
the bathroom.
will not have me!!
they’ve got going on in that library.
Go on in the library basement
That the general public
is
never allowed in.
Have they got down there?
The guilty
faces behind the desk.
Perverted
wenches!!
Whip me!! Whip me!!
Eminating their pulchritude
The repressed sexual
desire!!
With their filthy stories
With the naked French babes
With hairy
armpits.
With all those dirty books!!
Than a library wench.
Typical Night Of Taxi Driving
On a Friday Night In Gulfport
The Blackened Earth
By Troy Southgate
BACK in 1886 the earth threw up a man,
a dwarfish-blonde demi-god from the cruel Baltic lands,
His forefathers they had achieved some notoriety,
by siding then with Satan in Crusading repartee,
Ungern-Sternberg was his name frequenter of the bar,
a Vodka-swilling target-practice life-extinguisher,
With Semenov he fought the Reds he loved the art of war,
a ghost of mighty Genghis he knew he’d lived before,
Buddhism became his creed and cities he abhorred,
he flew across the Mongol steppes and raised an iron sword,
He took the Chinese by the throat as Alioshin tells,
the puppet leaders vanquished and the Jewish traders felled,
Now sick of outside influence the Mongols showed their hand,
and crushed right there forever the invaders of their land,
And in their place there grew up schools and libraries by the score,
but still the Beast was restless and still he wanted more.
He rides across the icy plains, small-headed death-knell ringer,
Narcotics whirling round his brain, the Baron of Urga,
His cloak it billows in the wind, White Russian Mongol-fuhrer,
Consume the flesh of those who’ve sinned, the Khan as Avatar.
Within the Eastern territories inside that blooded nest,
the Baron devised a system in which ego was suppressed,
A syncretic blend of theocracy Eurasian to the core,
a strong religious framework for a man who lived for war,
Soon there formed a cabinet with democratic rule,
key decisions made by rotten corpses one and all
With Sepailoff the Colonel and the ‘Teapot’ by his side,
he sought the pure Nirvana to halt the Karmic slide,
But the Marxists under Bator they came spreading through the East,
and found the drunken hash-fiends at their nihilistic feast,
With the reeling Mongols slaughtered and their bodies void of soul,
the Baron he was captured by the Bolshevik patrol,
Naked and defeated with his charms upon a chain,
this once-great noble-autocrat was pushed aboard a train,
And when they dragged him Westwards with their Siberian guile,
the Baron Ungern-Sternberg there was forced to go on trial.
He rides across the icy plains, small-headed death-knell ringer,
Narcotics whirling round his brain, the Baron of Urga,
His cloak it billows in the wind, White Russian Mongol-fuhrer,
Consume the flesh of those who’ve sinned, the Khan as Avatar.
The Continuing Pornographic
Adventures Of Sleazy McCabdriver
In a
taxi
In an alley
Near a crack house
By Hall and Cass.
Sleazy
McCabdriver
Helping those in need.
“Oh, yeah, oh baby,
tight
fuckin’ pussy
oh yeah, oh baby
uh uh uh uh uh uh
uh!!!
Ahhhhhhhhh……”
“Ok, I’ll take you back to Cascade.”
“Don’t
worry, baby,
you won’t miss cheerleader practice.
We’ll pick up your
books.”
Sleazy McCabdriver,
A man of the streets.
“What, you
want some more crack?”
“Ok, you’re my cab whore for the night.
$20 a
pop to drunks and drug dealers.”
Sleazy McCabdriver,
A man of
action.
“Shut the fuck up or I’ll put you in my
trunk,
bitch!!”
“Bend over. I’ve never had an anal virgin
before.”
A Man With a Puckered Face
"Bury Me In Black"
MCR
I said, we'll drown ourselves in misery tonight
I lied, you've worn out all your dancing shoes this time
Just give us war, worn lipstick by the door if I inflame
These eyes have had too much to drink again tonight
Black skies, we'll douse ourselves in high explosive light
Just give us war, I've been calling you all week
for my shotgun
Pick up the phone
Pick up the phone, fucker
I wanna see what your insides look like
I bet you're not fucking pretty on the inside
I wanna see what your insides look like
I wanna see 'em
Well you don't say
And well I can explain what happened to my face
Late last night
I'm sleeping in empty pools and vacant alleyways
And what I'm going through, shot lipgloss through my veins
And when I can't complain
With the falling rain
C'mon
I wanna save your heart
I wanna see what your insides may be
Sgt. McKenzie
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
When they come I will stand my ground
Stand my ground I’ll not be afraid
Thoughts of home take away my fear
Sweat and blood hide my veil of tears
Once a year say a prayer for me
Close your eyes and remember me
Never more shall I see the sun
For I fell to a Germans gun
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Where before many more have gone
------------------------------------------------
In memory of Sgt. Charles Stuart MacKenzie
Seaforth Highlanders Killed in WW I.
Shit Charade
Man Laws
But I'm no super-genius, or
are I?
I Gave You..........
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his
buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12
hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you
actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at
will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even
remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a
strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the
game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap
her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your
girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach
... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the
nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they
demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports
watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to
fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just
greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of
beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding
sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both
waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation
you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to
have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24:The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken
monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each
other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved
me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference
between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a
broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer,
lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're
next!
I was a Perverted Bumpkin
She Licks My Cock
Geiger’s Nightmare
Genitals oily and shiny
Mechanical thrusting
Sputtering
Orgasm like the trilling of RRRRssss
Fetus implant
Successful
Pulp gulp
Plop
Human
He Muttered Like a Fish
Praise Be
Poem About The New Existentialism by Colin Wilson
